01 Sep Breakup Bootcamp
There’s some things you need to know about breakups. Number one, you’re not going to die. With that being said everything else is much easier even though it may feel like torture.
Here are some tips that may help you to control your emotions and put the overall situation into the right perspective.
Be honest with yourself about what type of relationship or situation you were really in. Was there a real commitment between you two? Were you ever really promised anything? Did you deserve each other? Were you equally yolked? Were you on the same level?
Dilute the jealousy. Are you afraid that someone else may get him or her? Is there any real validity to the jealousy? Dwell less on time spent and more on substance.
Assess the loss. What will they gain? Be honest about your losses. Don’t convince yourself that your loss is more valuable than it really is. If it is truly a big loss then determine exactly where it went wrong. Keep in mind that you may have done nothing wrong. It may be a personal issue that someone is trying to deal with alone.
Stop thinking about forever. Stop thinking about never speaking to him or her again. Take it hours at a time if you need to. Set hourly goals of not speaking to each other, texting or stalking him or her on social media.
Are you owed an apology? Do you owe someone an apology? You shouldn’t accept an apology without action. What is he or she sorry for? Is your pride stopping you from giving an apology? Is there something YOU need to be honest about? Is that where some of your guilt stems from?
Don’t convince yourself you have to stay because you’re still in love. You can love someone and not be compatible. You can love someone and not be in the right positions in life to be together.
Stop convincing yourself that there’s nobody else in the world who deserves your love. Stop convincing yourself that nobody else will ever know you or learn you again. You are worthy.
Tell your friends to stop updating you. Tell them to respect your healing time and to stop picking at your scabs with current information on your ex.
What are some of the things you couldn’t or didn’t do because you were involved with someone? Do them now. Taste the freedom.
Stop responding. Stop reaching out just to argue. People are comfortable as long as there is engagement. It doesn’t matter if you’re arguing or throwing insults. People find comfort when they get a response. If you want to take power away, you must be quiet. Beware that silence will cause other people to go above and beyond to get a reaction out of you. Keep your poker face because they’re just showing you how capable they are of deceit, their immaturity and their lack of self control.