The Price of “Loyalty”
I’m trying to understand this “Loyalty” thing… This word gets thrown around a lot these days. I’ve been hearing “I’m very loyal”… “Loyalty is Vintage”… “I need loyal people in my circle” etc etc…. I’m convinced that people make up their own meaning for it as they go along. They tend to throw the word “loyalty” out when they don’t want to be wrong, when they don’t want to own up to their own shit and when someone else being “loyal” is in their favor. But if you didn’t know, “loyal” is not self proclaimed… You’re labeled loyal. And how can you call yourself a “loyal” person? Are you loyal to everyone? Just family? Just friends? Just your partner? Who? And just because you’re loyal to one person or a select few doesn’t make you a loyal person overall. What does it mean to be a “loyal” person? I’m going to explore “loyalty issues” in a couple of categories.
Now we’ve had this debate before, as far as “loyalty” in relationships are concerned… I personally believe that even unfaithful people can be considered loyal in a relationship. I’ve seen it time and time again first hand… Now people say that being loyal includes being monogamous… I do not agree. There are plenty of people who cheat for whatever reason and have NO intention of trading in or forfeiting their primary relationship for anyone else. Now some will say, “…but they are forfeiting it by cheating”… But I say, “ Not if they don’t get caught” … There’s a respectful way to do disrespectful things. And yea, I know all of this sounds bad… BUT life is BAD! In this circumstance, my argument is a huge contraction especially because there’s no way to explain, condone, or defend cheating but you just gotta be realistic that it HAPPENS… So IF it is gonna happen at LEAST take precaution enough for your mate to not find out. Geez.
Moving right along … I hate when friends try to pull the “loyalty” card when they EXPECT you to be on their side no matter what… Loyalty is not about me always agreeing with you… Loyalty is me being able to tell you “you’re WRONG”………And If you’re WRONG… you’re WRONG… I would NOT be a GOOD friend if I let you believe that I agreed with you and I don’t. Now sometimes, there’s friends that you don’t tell them that they’re wrong… and that’s fine because some people can’t take criticism… but DO NOT tell them you AGREE. Some people don’t even give you the chance to state your opinion because their standpoint on it is so solid that you know its pointless playing the devil’s advocate with them. But always stand for what you believe in and have a healthy enough friendship that you can agree to disagree. You should never question a person’s friendship or “loyalty” because they don’t have the same point of view as you.
Lets talk about family for a minute… A lot of people are VERY family oriented… Family over everything… Not me… I treat my family, like regular people… Because thats what they are… “Regular people”… Sharing the same blood does not exempt them from “fault”… Murderers, child molesters, and rapists, are Someone’s family too… Should you condone or defend that because they’re your son or sister? People think you’re obligated to them because of the kinship… I do not agree with this… Some people say I think like this because I’m the only child but I don’t need to have a brother to know I would not be “loyal” to him if he raped someone.
For the chicks…Do you feel privileged to be called his “ride or die bitch”… Well here’s some “Naked Truth” for that ass… Almost HALF of the females in jail are in there for drug trafficking and fraud. Most of those people were the “loyal” bitch of a dude orchestrating the whole operation. Statistics show that most of the people who don’t get off the hook, didn’t pay the prosecutor a whole heap of money to make the case “go away”… So when its time to “pay for your freedom”, Lets see how “loyal” they are to you… And lets HOPE that you don’t go to jail… because the dudes that females were with when she first went in, usually weren’t there when she got out. Females are WAY more devoted to a man in jail than “vice versa.” So priding yourself on being his “down ass chick” or “ride or die bitch”… Might get you nowhere in the end. A man is going to do whatever he has to do to get money whether you’re involved or not. So my advice to you is to stay out of it as much as possible. Always make the conscious decision to do assume all responsibility if anything was to happen to you. If anyone puts you in the position to be vulnerable, you are the pawn, not the partner. Pawns are sacrificed to keep the King safe… I rather not go down as a martyr for someone else. But that’s just me.
Another thing that people get twisted is the “loyalty of time”…. People think they should be priority in your life based on the length of time you’ve known them. I prioritize the people in my life by QUALITY not time span… Someone could have been a better friend to me in two years than someone was for 20 years… And my loyalty is going to lie with the person who its mutual with. I’m loyal to people who make a comparable effort to the one that I make whether its friend, family, or lover. I don’t have the time to waste devoting my life to other people. I only have one.
Last but not least… let’s explore this “Stop Snitching” slogan…. Hmmmm. Now I can slightly understand it if this solely encompassed being a “tattle tale” when the circumstance has nothing to do with you… BUT… people are applying this to every circumstance. So loyalty” is about sacrificing your own freedom, family, goals, job, maybe even life to spare someone else’s? I can’t grasp this idea in my mind. So the “rule” is to be more loyal to others than YOURSELF? OH… Would they do it for you? Have they done it for you? Why SHOULD you? When is it “acceptable/understandable” to save yourself? Are there boundaries on “loyalty”?? If you have a pregnant wife, kids, you’re the provider of your household, running businesses and your friend leaves a gun in your car…you get pulled over…car searched… and you’re about to have to do three years of jail time and this person doesn’t want to take the rap for their own gun…. What do you do?
Loyalty is about devotion to a cause… Choose your “causes” wisely. Loyalty is faithfulness to a commitment that you’ve made. Identify your commitments in your life right now. Have a clear focus on what is truly important to you in your life and stay loyal to that.